Perry's "Senior Moment" During Debate Costs $1 Billion
Several Astronauts Expire During 53-Second Pause

(Rochester, MI) — Texas Governor Rick Perry's stumble during the November 9 debate led to new questions about his capability to remember absolutely everything ever said or done in the history of mankind.

"I will tell you," Perry started out. "It's three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone: Commerce, Education and the – what's the third one there? Let's see … OK. So Commerce, Education and the … The third agency of government I would – I would do away with the Education, the … Commerce and – let's see – I can't. The third one, I can't. Sorry. Oops."

The missing agency was later identified as the Department of Energy.

Its immediate monetary cost of $1 billion, coupled with the expiration of seven NASA astronauts, added to the political fallout from the gaffe. Mark McKinnon, an aide to former President George W. Bush, called the moment the "human equivalent of shuttle Challenger."

NASA was in disaster recovery mode following the debate and the subsequent statement, combing the Florida coast for remnants of a space shuttle that disintegrated more than 25 years ago. And the agency was working overtime to locate the seven newly-deceased astronauts, its ultimate goal to keep the remains from winding up at the Dover Air Force Base.

Others were not so forgiving of McKinnon's analogy. "The guy is a schmuck," said a former NASA employee, speaking on condition of anonymity. "What a stupid and offensive thing to say. If anyone's going to make analogies of how NASA murdered seven people, they should first get NASA's approval before speaking. But I think McKinnon should contact NASA and get them to reinstate the shuttle program for one more flight. He'd be the sole passenger when the shuttle lifts off. As NASA detonated the external fuel tank 73 seconds into the flight, he could make that analogy one last time."