Madonna Uses "Irony" to Call Obama a Muslim
Poster Child for VD Stirs Up Controversy

(Washington, DC) — Move over, Donald Trump. There's a new birther in town.

During her Monday night concert at the Verizon Center, Madonna said, "For better or for worse, all right, we have a black Muslim in the White House, okay?"

Republicans pounced on this bit of news, the best they've had in at least a month.

"Madonna clearly reflects the opinions of 53% of all Americans," said a spokesman for presidential candidate Mitt Romney (R-MA), speaking on condition of anonymity. "She knows that the president is not a Christian. She knows he's a Muslim. When will the other 47% of Americans wake up?"

The White House was apparently caught off-guard by the accusation. "We didn't even know that she was still alive," said a White House spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

"You can't really blame her entirely for her incoherent ramblings," said a Democratic strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Syphilis tends to drive people insane."

Madonna has been one of the main poster children in America for VD for quite some time. In addition, Madonna's 1986 blockbuster film Shanghai Surprise has been used as a method of capital punishment since February 2010.