White House Gives Excused Absence to Feds on Christmas Eve
Republicans Call for Obama's Impeachment

(Washington, DC) — President Obama on Friday signed an executive order giving Federal employees a day off work for Christmas Eve, which falls on Monday this year. Republicans were immediately outraged and called for Obama's impeachment.

"The president has a clear choice in this matter," said a GOP spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "He can either help balance the budget and bring down the deficit, or he can continue to give these 'free days' to these Federal employees who are nothing more than moochers. That's right, they're mooching off these free days and other entitlements, such as health care and Social Security."

"The president has yet again demonstrated the need for his removal from office," said a member of the House Judiciary Committee, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Paying people not to work is treason – unless it's in the case of the United States Congress."

Ironically, Republicans had no problem with this policy when Obama's Republican predecessor, Shrub, gave the day off in 2001 and 2007.

Even Republican Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf (formerly Romney Information Minister and Iraqi Information Minister) chimed in. "This Obama has no morals," claimed Sahaf. "He has no shame about giving free days to these moochers. I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that whoever says Federal employees deserve the day off will have their stomachs roasted in Hell!"