Maryland Lawmakers to Tackle Tough Issues in 2013
State Sandwich Issue to Dominate January Legislating

(Annapolis, MD) — During 2012, Marylanders saw their taxes rise. Their electric bills rose as Governor Martin O'Malley (D-MD), assuring that he will be the last Democrat – ever – to be elected governor in Maryland, provided fresh funds to the state's corrupt electric utilities.

Montgomery County Executive Isaiah Leggett (D-MD) ordered swaths of businesses on Rockville Pike dismantled and destroyed so he could bring Wal-Mart, the crown jewel of merchandising, right in the middle of a thriving area of small businesses.

In line with these and other festering issues in the state, Maryland lawmakers will have a busy schedule starting in January 2013. In addition to taking up measures on transportation and gun control, they will also take up the most important legislation of the decade: designating the soft-shell crab sandwich as the Maryland state sandwich.

Maryland already has several state items, from dogs to cats, from fish to plants. Recently, the state reptile was changed from the "diamondback terrapin" to the "current governor of Maryland" during a special session of the legislature. Also, the state dinosaur was changed (temporarily) from the "astrodon johnstoni" to "Senator Barbara Mikulski" (D-MD).

This year saw Mikulski throw several tantrums regarding the use of Metro; the transportation giant stuck by its no-hobbit policy and "disturbed" Mikulski's commute.

"Seldom do we get to take on such important issues," said a state house spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Not only are we doing to do our job, we're going to do a heck of a job!"