A Sociopathic Profile in Courage:
Animal Torturer and Murderer Vick Honored with Award

(Baltimore, MD) — The NFL presented 32 of its players with the Ed Block Courage Award on March 9, 2010. Named for Baltimore Colts trainer Ed Block and first presented in 1978, the event would have probably garnered little attention if not for the notoriety of one of its recipients: Michael Vick of the Philadelphia Eagles.

The former Atlanta Falcons quarterback was convicted in 2007 for his role in a dogfighting ring and served 18 months in Federal prison. Dozens of protesters expressed dismay over his nomination as he accepted the award.

"Michael was very humbled, both to be nominated and to accept the award," said an Eagles spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "He's even more in awe that he's been able to turn his thuggery into a play for sympathy."

"He believes he exemplifies what this award stands for, not the least of which is being a murderer and convicted felon, yet still being able to earn millions of dollars per year," said an NFL spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "All it takes is an apology once the crime has been aired publicly. In sports, in politics, in Hollywood: that, my friends, is the new American dream."

Due to the outrage and fury from many pro-animal organizations, there are indications that the Ed Block Courage Award Foundation is considering a name change. "We may be moving towards renaming either the Foundation or the award for the Wizard of Oz," said an Ed Block Courage Award Foundation spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "While Michael Vick certainly showed no courage as the sociopath who brutally beat, drowned and electrocuted his pit bulls, it's clear that he also doesn't have either a brain or a heart, so the Ed Block Courage Award was really all that was left."