March Supporting Trayvon Martin Brings Out the Worst in Celebrities

(Sanford, FL) — On March 31, thousands of marchers took to the streets of the town where 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was gunned down by a neighborhood watch captain. Unfortunately, among the celebrities in attendance were two civil rights icons that lend no credibility to Trayvon's case.

The neighborhood watch captain, 28-year-old George Zimmerman, has yet to be charged with any crime for gunning down Martin. Zimmerman, whose father is white and mother is Hispanic, says he was acting in self-defense. Relatives and friends of African-American Martin disagree, saying that he was gunned down for the color of his skin and the "hoodie" he wore the night of February 26.

Among the celebrities and athletes in attendance were Alonzo Mourning, Isaiah Thomas, and singer Chaka Khan. Among the political and civil rights leaders in attendance were Reverend Jesse Jackson and Reverend Al Sharpton.

"We live in the middle of an American paradox," said Sharpton. "We can put a black man in the White House but we cannot walk a black child through a gated neighborhood. We are not selling out, bowing out or backing down until there is justice for Trayvon."

"Unfortunately, Mr. Sharpton is looking for justice for Trayvon, yet he cares nothing about the justice for the teenage girl he assaulted nearly 25 years ago," a Zimmerman spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, referencing Sharpton's stint at child abuse as he smeared dog excrement on Tawana Brawley in 1987, then lied about the incident and blamed members of the New York Police Department, all in the name of civil rights.

"This is not about a hoodie, it's about racial profiling," Jackson said. "We will use our marching feet, civil disobedience and every weapon in our non-violent arsenal until justice is served."

"Mr. Jackson talks about racial profiling, yet he had no problem using his anti-Semitism to slander a city of eight million," said the Zimmerman spokesman, referencing Jackson's use of the term "Hymietown" to describe New York back during his run for president in 1984.

"I just don't see how you can invite these two to speak about justice if you really do want justice," continued the Zimmerman spokesman. "Their credibility is gone. Shot. Pardon the pun. Now, we were also in shock to see Chaka Khan show up. I mean, we all thought she was dead already."