Rice Grilled on Capitol Hill
Republicans Attempt to Keep the Farce of Benghazigate Alive

(Washington, DC) — More than two months after the September 11, 2012, attack on the United States Consulate in Benghazi, Libya, there appear to be no signs of Benghazigate going away anytime soon.

The attack killed four Americans, including J. Christopher Stevens, United States Ambassador to Libya. Of course, Stevens' death was the only death that mattered; no one can name the other three Americans who died at the hands of rabid Islamic Fundamentalists.

Congressional Republicans have been in an uproar over United Nations Ambassador (and potential Secretary of State candidate) Susan Rice, who delivered talking points on the attack to talk shows on September 16. She spoke of the attack as a spontaneous demonstration spurred by a low-budget anti-Muslim film made in the United States; in fact, it was a coordinated attack by Al-Qaeda.

Rice insists she provided information she had at the time about the attacks; Congressional Republicans insist there was a concerted effort by the White House to hide the truth about the attack, including a failure to provide additional security in Benghazi before the attack.

"Bottom line, I'm more disturbed now than I was before," said Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) after meeting with Rice today along with other Republican critics Senators John McCain (R-AZ) and Kelly Ayotte (R-NH).

"That's troubling," said a White House spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "To think that Senator Graham is now more disturbed than before is frightening. I fear for our country. I mean, he's such a crazy person to begin with, and now he's more disturbed? How disturbing!"

"This is just a case of the Republicans grasping for something to fight for," said a Democratic strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity. "They lost. They lost on November 6. They lost their fight against Obamacare. They lost their absolution about not raising taxes. So what else do they have to argue about? Do average, ordinary, everyday Americans really care about Benghazi? No. They care about jobs, the economy, and taking care of their families. Benghazigate has been created just to give Republicans something to yell about.

If Republicans really cared about national security, they would investigate the 'Bin Ladin [sic] Determined to Strike in US' memo sent to President [George W.] Bush on August 6, 2001," said a spokesman for the Democratic National Committee, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We all know it was ignored, and we all know what happened five weeks later. Let the Republicans investigate that."