Rape Redefiners Routed
Cain, Akin, Mourdock Lose

(Washington, DC) — The topic of rape was a repeated theme in the 2012 election cycle. Those who defied medical experts, theologians, and accusers all came up short on election night.

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, once considered to be a strong candidate as his party's nominee, saw his campaign collapse under allegations of sexual impropriety.

Representative Todd Akin (R-MO), lost his senatorial bid to Claire McCaskill (D-MO), 55% to 39%, largely because of comments he made about legitimate rape.

And Indiana Republican Senate nominee Richard Mourdock (R-IN) stated during a debate that rape is "something that God intended to happen." Mourdock lost his senatorial bid to Joe Donnelly (D-IN), 50% to 44%.

Republican strategists huddled with upstanding American citizens such as Kobe "The Rapist" Bryant and Ben "Roethlisrapist" Roethlisberger to try and determine where they went wrong.