Tea Partyists Head Back to School
Universities to Support Organization's Platform with Curriculum, Degrees

(Washington, DC) — The recent passage of health care reform has galvanized the nascent Tea Party movement. They continue to vent their outrage and frustration while becoming a structured organization.

Supporters have already talked to Bob Jones University and Liberty University about amending their curriculum. "They've been surprisingly amenable," said a Tea Partyist about officials from both universities, speaking on condition of anonymity.

"We've been approached and are happy to report that degrees in Death Panelism will be offered beginning with the fall 2009 term," said a Bob Jones University spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "'Tea Party 101' will cover all the basics: shouting racial slurs; homophobic behavior; spitting for dummies; taunting the disabled, elderly and infirm; and the all-important issuance of death threats. We couldn't be happier."

Other planned courses include Birthism (learning to inspect birth certificates or other official credentials to verify nationality) and Perversum Legis et Emendationis (learning to overturn laws and Constitutional amendments).