Threats Against Politicians Continue As Election Day Nears

(Washington, DC) — With the health care bill now law, many Americans are taking their displeasure over the new legislation out on their elected officials. While the economy continues to dominate this November's election, the health care legislation, from the way it was rammed through Congress to the perceived intervention of the Federal government into Americans' lives, is a close second. The Tea Party movement is at least partially responsible for telephone death threats, bricks being thrown through windows, and envelopes filled with white powder being sent to officials' offices.

Democrats have been blaming Republicans for the up tick in civil disobedience throughout 2010. Republicans have counted that the Democrats were using the incidents for political purposes.

"Republicans do not agree with the methods of violence cited by Democrats," said a Republican National Committee spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "That's why, once we retake control of Congress, Republicans will offer legislation outlining new, improved methods of violence. Democrats complain about white powder in envelopes; we propose using real, weaponized anthrax. Democrats complain about bricks being thrown through their windows. We propose the use of Molotov cocktails. Democrats complain about those with physical disabilities being singled out and accosted at rallies. We propose exterminating these people to ensure the purity of our country. Oh, wait, did I just say that? Inside voice! INSIDE VOICE!!!"

Tea Partyists are already planning for massive victories on November 2. There is talk of a November 9, 2010 victory extravaganza. "We'll serve Crystal Light and offer seminars on brick-throwing and epithet-hurling, said a Tea Party spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Why, we'll all party like it's 1938!"