Infestation at HHS Building Has Employees Going Buggy

(Rockville, MD) — A building used by the Department of Health and Human Services is the latest Federal building to come under attack. And this attack isn't by terrorists or anti-government Tea Partyists. It's by the infestation that's gripping the nation: bedbugs.

The Parklawn building, once home to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in Rockville has had two separate bedbug incidents. Since contacting the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) to learn how they dealt with their rat infestation when taking up residence at their current E Street location in 1992, there have been no further bedbug sightings. But that doesn't make employees feel any more at ease.

"All this talk about how bad Federal employees are, and how our salaries are too high, and how our budgets are too bloated, and now this," said an HHS employee, speaking on condition of anonymity. "You think this is a coincidence? I don't think so!"

Even though an official with the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA), employees have little faith in a swift resolution to the crisis, especially since OSHA has since reported that they are awaiting more information before assessing whether they need to send an inspector to the site.

"What the hell are they waiting for?!" asked another HHS employee, speaking on condition of anonymity. "What do they think this is, Tehran? You can bet if the Capitol had this infestation, they would have taken action immediately. But we're being treated like lab experiments. How healthy is it when the health of Health and Human Services employees is put at risk?"