Metro Takes Heat over Latest Incident

(Washington, DC) — Metro officials are blaming the recent heat wave for the derailment of a Green Line train on July 6.

The intense heat – 99° that day – apparently caused a "heat kink" in a rail and led to the derailment.

Heat kinks are a well-known phenomenon in the rail industry. Unfortunately for Metro, given its track record over the past few years, including the murder of nine people in June 2009, few are going to give the system the benefit of the doubt.

To make matters worse, passengers were stranded on the powerless train – meaning no air conditioning – and were given no instructions from the train's conductor.

Several passengers took matters into their own hands, prying open their car's doors evacuating the train on foot.

"Performing a 'self-evacuation' was very, very dangerous, and we condemn the 'self-evacuation' in the strongest possible terms," said a Metro spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "With the third rail still electrified, passengers risked being hurt or killed. And, quite frankly, we have enough blood on our hands at the moment."

Angry passengers fired back. "We could have been cooked alive in that train," said a spokesman for one of the evacuated passengers, speaking on condition of anonymity. "And they gave us no instructions, no indications as to how long we were going to be trapped. They're just lucky that no one needed to use the restroom, otherwise Metro would have had to deal with a different kind of 'self-evacuation' on that car."