Message from NRC to OPM Regarding Earthquake Evacuations: Drop Dead

(Rockville, MD) — The Washington, DC metropolitan area was rocked by a 5.9 earthquake yesterday, and the panic that ensued led the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) to issue evacuation orders for the Federal government. The problem: not all agencies complied with the order.

In spite of issuing the following directive posted on the OPM Web site, the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) refused to send its non-essential employees home:

Ninety miles away in Washington, DC, the Washington Monument, the Washington National Cathedral and the Smithsonian's "Castle" were closed because of earthquake damage. Inspections of other buildings throughout the region continued into today.

NRC, faced with budget shortfalls like other Federal agencies, is now saying they didn't dismiss their employees because it would have been too obvious a ploy for a headcount reduction opportunity.

"We could have sent people outside," said an NRC spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "And then some might have been trampled. Or brained by some falling masonry. Or electrocuted from downed power lines. Now, while that would have been good for the agency's budget, it would have been a nightmare from a PR perspective. So the decision was to keep people as safe as they ever are — in their non-climate-controlled offices, in front of their non-ergonomic workstations. That way we at least have some control over their suffering."