Pathological Lying Latest Issue with NRC Security Staff

(Rockville, MD) — The NRC security guards, operating under the Al Qaeda in White Flint (AQWF) moniker, have added a new behavior to their repertoire: pathological lying.

At the elevator bays in One White Flint North, also known as Mordor, employees have been required to show their badges before entering the elevators until 6:00pm. This has been the standard operating procedure for at least 42 months.

On March 19, an employee approached one of the security guards at the elevator bays after 6:00pm and was stopped in that they might show the AQWF member their badge. The AQWF member then pointed out that employees have always had to show their badges after 6:00pm, a blatant lie.

"We're looking into the situation," said an NRC official, speaking on condition of anonymity. "But the bottom line is this: they're the ones with the guns, so you don't cross them. Period. It doesn't matter that they're known to be physically abusive, users of foul language and, now it seems, pathological liars. It just doesn't matter."