Osama bin Laden Death Photos Released

(Washington, DC) -- The White House and CIA decided today to release photographic evidence of a deceased Osama bin Laden, the former head of Al Qaeda.

These photos have been made exclusively available to the Sick Bird Publishing Company for inclusion in FLATLINE. Not the Washington Post. Not the New York Times. Not CNN. FLATLINE.

Since the announcement of his killing on May 1, the hot topic in Washington has been whether or not share photos of the deceased, bullet-ridden evildoer, fearing that such sharing might offend Muslims or inflame tensions and anti-Western sentiment around the world. Conversely, many feel that not sharing the photos could leave conspiracy theorists clutching at straws for decades, never truly believing that the mastermind of the September 11, 2001 terror attacks won't be making any more audio tapes or video tapes.

In the end, White House and CIA decided that the silencing of the non-believers and conspiracy theorists won out over offending more than one billion people on the planet.

White House officials also stressed that not all available materials would be released, not even through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request. While the photo at a hangar in Afghanistan made the cut, photos and videos of his burial at sea did not, since that method of burial has been slammed by several Muslim groups.

"We hope that the release of this photographic evidence, while gruesome and horrid to most, will finally answer the question everyone is asking: 'Is he really gone?'" said a White House spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity.