Stan Stearns, Photographer Who Captured John-John Casket Salute, Dies
Sanitarium "Sick" Over Photograph

(Washington, DC) — Stan Stearns, the news photographer that captured the iconic photograph of John F. Kennedy, Jr. saluting his father's caisson on November 25, 1963, died on March 2. His death, however, is being exploited by Republican presidential candidate Rick Sanitarium (R-PA).

On February 26, Sanitarium said that he "almost threw up" from the phrase "I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute" from President John F. Kennedy's speech on religion, given in 1960.

Sanitarium is now going full-tilt on the aspect of vomiting over Democratic speeches and values.

"When Senator Sanitarium saw the news story about Mr. Stearns' passing, and he saw the photo of John-John, he immediately hung his head over his wastebasket and heaved," said a Sanitarium spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Not over the death, but over the photograph."

"When he wins the presidency, the senator will have airsick bags installed at President Kennedy's grave so 'real Americans' can gather and vomit in unison," continued the anonymous spokesman.