Town Hollering
Second 2012 Presidential Debate More Feisty Than First Debate

(Hempstead, NY) — President Barack Obama (D-IL) and Mitt Romney (R-MA) squared off last night in the second of three 2012 presidential debates at Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. CNN's Candy Crowley attempted to moderate the series of questions asked of the candidates by select members of the public in this town hall format.

After a lackluster performance in the first debate, President Obama came out swinging, and the two men nearly came to blows a number of times during the 90-minute exchange.

Romney's repeated refrain of "I know what it takes" was used over and over again, ranging from job creation to bringing back the middle class, from balancing budgets to lowering unemployment.

"All Romney knows about 'what it takes' is what it takes to ship jobs overseas," said a Democratic strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity. "He also knows how to dismantle existing companies and sell them off for profit."

Obama spoke about backing clean coal technology. "But coal is never clean," said a spokesman for the American Lung Association, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Burning coal may be cleaner than it was, but it still isn't clean."

Romney insisted that North America would have energy independence in eight years. "The problem is that there's just not that much crude oil underground in North America," said an oil industry representative, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Maybe he can have cars that run on hot air, and he can fill them himself."

"I understand how hard it is to start a small business," Romney claimed. "That sounds like something [President George W.] Bush said years ago," said a spokesman for the Small Business Administration, speaking on condition of anonymity. "He said, 'I understand small business growth. I was one.' And neither of them was telling the truth."

Part of the debate's most heated exchange was over the investments in each man's pension. The argument from Romney was that some of Obama's investments were in China. Obama said that he doesn't "look at my pension. It's not as big as yours so it doesn't take as long." "Who knew that the night would be defined by pension envy?" asked a commentator, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Romney spent part of his time talking about the advantage of two-parent households, dissing one-parent households in the process. "From someone who's Mormon, a religion which practices polygamy, I don't think he should be talking about the correct number of people to have in a household," said a single mother, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Aside from Romney's "binders full of women" comment, perhaps one of the most striking statements was his claiming that "I care about 100% of the American people" just weeks after a video tape surfaced showing Romney deriding the "47%" of freeloaders in the country that would never support his candidacy.

"I'm one of the 47%, and I'm proud," said a debate attendee, speaking on condition of anonymity. "And I don't want to be one of his 100%. I hate his guts."

While most pundits and viewers said that the president won this debate, at least one person disagreed with that assessment – former Iraqi Information Minister and current Romney Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf.

"I triple guarantee you, Obama did not win the debate, no, never!" exclaimed al-Sahaf, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Those who say Obama won have no morals. They have no shame. Obama supporters have no shame about spreading these lies and falsehoods. I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that whoever says Romney lost the debate will have their stomachs roasted in Hell!"